On The Next Step

Sex Sells: A Hard Look At Celebrity Erectile Dysfunction Endorsements 02/16/2010

Male enhancement endorsement deals are like Nike contracts for celebrities over 60. Take the latest example of ex-coach and sports personality, Jimmy Johnson. Seems like this one was a no-brainer when you look at pictures like the one above. Anyway, Johnson is just one more star to get beaucoup money from making sure older gentlemen and college students on ecstasy can still get it up. Read more to see other examples of when celebrities endorse male enhancement drugs…

Michael Douglas Is No Spring Chicken

During the filming of Wall Street 2, Douglas confessed in an interview with AARP that he was thankful modern science was able to provide men his age with Cialis and Viagra. It’s a shame, Catherine Zeta Jones deserves better.

Setting A President

Even Bob Dole gets down with the blue pill. I really gotta hand it to Viagra on this one, this ad campaign is actually good. It’s emboldening.

Premature, Uh, Endorsement

Simon Cowell turned down a $2 million offer from Viagra to be their spokesman saying it was a “fucking insult.” I can’t blame Viagra though, dude is mad grumpy on American Idol. I could see where the whole impotence idea comes from.

Mark Martin: The Viagra Eater On Wheels

We’re not NASCAR fans ’round these parts, but stock car driver Mark Martin spent the better part of two decades cashing in on his celebrity to sell boner meds. If I were loaded on Viagra and wasn’t able to have sex I guess the next best thing to do would be speed around a track in circles until I could stand up tent-free.

Steroids Lead To Erectile Dysfunction?

Rafael Palmeiro wasn’t even 40 when he started hawking Viagra. This all made sense a couple years later when Palmeiro came under scrutiny shortly after his 3,000th career hit for steroid use. He claimed he never “intentionally” took steroids. What, they just slipped, fell, landed on your dick? Child, please.

Ditka Improves His “Erection Quality”

While Ditka did a few ads for Levitra, the lesser-known male enhancer, maybe the best of them all was featured during Jon Stewart’s Moment Of Zen back in 2004. Check it out the ten second clip here.

Jimmy Replaces Bob For Enzyte

Even if you don’t have all the bossy accomplishments of Jimmy Johnson, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pop Enzyte like it’s your last nut on this planet.